Welcome to the second post about the little night opera “Jenseits” AKA “Beyond” I composed for my mother, Catherine Gayer. Helga Krauss wrote the libretto, which I translated into English. Read and listen to the first post here, and follow the eventual posting of the complete opera on its designated page.

Today we look at/listen to sections III and IV. The woman, an opera singer who suffered a serious car crash, has found herself in a metaphysical waystation accompanied by two angels.

As she bargains for more life to live, she briefly looks back at three of the most important figures in her life (and who will figure prominently in sections to come): her son, her lover, and her husband. She laments all that has remained unsaid, uncried, unfulfilled.

Which is a cue for the angels to start a more comprehensive review of the diva’s life. Beginning with her childhood. We receive snippets of her girlhood concerns while she performs her vocal exercises, dreaming of becoming a famous opera singer.

By the way, the vocal exercises threaded into the score are all actual vocal exercises my mother learned from her mother and which she also taught her own vocal students, including me, who would in turn teach them to my students, as when I led school choirs or music directed first grade operas.

Those however are the only biographical details taken directly from my mother’s life and incorporated into the opera, along with roles the singer lists as her repertoire in section II. Everything else is Helga Krauss’ invention.

III

German Language Studio Recording

English Language Live Concert Recording

WOMAN

I want to live. At least a little bit longer.

All the words I have not spoken
All the dreams I have not followed
All the tears I have not cried out

My son needs me…!

2. ANGEL
Your son’s grown up. He can get by without you.

WOMAN
The shore
My little boy walking
With his tiny hand in my hand
The waves break pulling gently at our footsteps til our traces have gone

All the words I have not spoken
All the dreams I have not followed

2. ANGEL All over

WOMAN
Roberto
Beloved impossible
Mia bella Maria
We take the lover’s leap
We cling together, sinking beneath the surface

I truly was in love, Roberto
But I made sure I never told you

All the words I have not spoken

1. ANGEL Your time is up.

WOMAN
Henry
The homey distance by your side
Strangers who have been married for thirty-three years

If I could break through the walls of our lonely jail cells

Of our private confinement

All the words I have

I’ll give you all my jewelry
Only a little bit longer

WOMAN

There must be more to my life
Don’t you tell me that this is all there is

This is a sham

This is cruel

All gone! All Over! No more!

There must be more to my life

All the words I have not spoken

All the dreams I have not followed

All the tears I have not cried out

All gone! All over! No more! There must be more to my life

2. ANGEL
Now, now, evermore now, there only is this moment now

Now, now evermore now, there only is this moment now

1. ANGEL
Artists are always the worst.
They imagine they’re something special.

(2. ANGEL
Now, now, evermore now, there only is this moment now)

1. ANGEL
Forgotten everything already? Roll her film

IV

German Language Studio Recording

English Language Live Concert Recording

1. & 2. ANGEL
One two three outside now – Everyone must hide now
Right of me and left of me cannot be – One two three I’m coming

The woman sings along in a child’s voice, holding her eyes closed.

WOMAN
One two three outside now – Everyone must hide now
Right of me and left of me cannot be – One two three I’m coming
Mother, Mother, what time is it?

1. ANGEL 12!

The Woman takes 12 steps.

WOMAN
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12

1. ANGEL
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8

The 1. Angel counts beats or holds a metronome. The Woman as child does vocal exercises.

WOMAN
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah
(Italian vowel sounds): i, e, a, o (pronounced ee, eh, ah, augh)

I want to be a famous singer
Do you think I can make it, Mama?
i, e, a, o
If you only believe, you can do anything. If you only…
I want, I want, I want
i, e, a, o

2. ANGEL
I want, I want, I want

WOMAN
Mirror, Mirror on the wall – Who is the prettiest girl of all
Yah yeh yah yeh yoh – Yah yeh yah yeh yoh
Yah yeh yah yeh yoh

1. & 2. ANGEL
(echoing) Yah yeh yah yeh yoh….

WOMAN
And they lived happily ever after
Yah yeh yah yeh yoh
Yah yeh yah yeh yoh

The story isn’t over yet, is it?
Keep reading, Mama, but tell me ahead of time when the story is over.

I got a D in math and pimples all over my face.
In school they keep calling me “Knock-knees”

1. & 2. ANGEL
Knock-knees, knock-knees, knock-knees, knock-knees…

WOMAN
Dear God, please make my legs grow straight
Where are you, God?

Ah- oh-
I took money out of Mama’s purse and bought myself a barrette
Dear God, please don’t be mad

Ah- oh-
The barrette is blue with a butterfly. But you can see that. You see everything.

Ah- oh-
I promise that I’ll never do it again.
Ah- oh-
And forgive us all of our sins as we will forgive the other sinners too

Above and below, examples of my mother’s vocal exercises threaded into the score.