Notes from a Composer

“Orpheus. Eurydike. Hermes” evokes the lead-up to Orpheus’ fateful turn to glance at Eurydice, the awestruck, awful regret at that moment and its terrible aftermath.

“Orpheus. Eurydike. Hermes” beginnt kurz vor den fatalen Rückblick Orpheus zur Eurydike, welches stilles Entsetzen und bewegte Reue auslöst, sowie den endgültigen Schicksalsfall.

Above you can read my description of the piece “Orpheus. Eurydike. Hermes” on my entry page for the Carl Orff Competition (you can also listen to my piece and rate it).  When I submitted my entry and filled out the on-line forms, the text box provided for the composers to describe their piece was so small, I assumed there would be, like there usually is in these things, a strict, low word limit.  Knowing I wanted to describe my piece in both English and German and worrying about how little text space I might be allowed, I wound up writing descriptions that are nearly haikus.

Orpheus’ fateful turn to glance at Eurydice

the awestruck, awful regret at that moment

its terrible aftermath

—

Der fatale Rückblick Orpheus zur Eurydike

welches stilles Entsetzen und bewegte Reue auslöst

sowie den endgültigen Schicksalsfall.

Well maybe not great poetry; I probably do a better job with my musical composition.  But I did work hard to find just the right words in the right formulations.  Yet the German and English descriptions are not really literal translations of each other, but the kind of freer reflections one finds when poetry is carefully translated, where the right dictionary definition may be better substituted by words or phrases with the right cultural and emotional connotations.

Which brings us to the differences between Rilke’s original German text and the English translation (both of which I reprint here, along with the score and recording of my interpretation).  I set the original German text because it is the original Rilke, but also because it is superior to the English translation (a Spanish translation was also made available).  There are many reasons why I think that, but I’ll share one example with just one word.  In the English translation, Eurydice is said to no longer be Orpheus’ “property”.  The word used in the original German is “Eigentum”.  That is a direct, literally true translation.  Eigentum means property.  But Eigentum in German contains the word “Eigen”, which means “what is one’s own”.  So “Eigentum” literally means “that which is one’s own”.  Which is what “property” means too, but not in the way that includes a spoken reference to one’s sense of self.  Also, the word “Eigentum” is full of lovely long held vowel sounds and soft consonants, whereas “property” boasts the opposite in all, only short, curt vowels and explosive consonants.  In the English version I can only feel the ugly, mercantile, possessive aspects to describing Eurydice as belonging to Orpheus.  In the original German I can also feel the loving, soulful connection.

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