In this installment of Beyond – a little night opera, the Woman walks in on her lover, the Conductor, in flagrante delicto with another woman.

(Catch up on all installments of Beyond/Jenseits on its home page.)

The Conductor rather slimily attempts to minimize the betrayal by calling the other woman “just some bimbo from the ballet”, referring to the opera house’s in-house ballet corps.

The Woman expresses her feelings by appropriating the baroque melody she had rehearsed with the conductor and converting his “bella, bellisima” into melodic despair.

The 1st Angel offers the Woman a chance to replay that scene differently.

The “film” is musically wound back. (On stage the performers moved backwards to the starting point of the scene.)

This time the Angel gives the Woman a gun, which she points at the Conductor while intoning the baroque theme in a more accusatory fashion. She falters however in her musical murderous courage, lowering the gun.

But then shoots the Conductor after all.

A third version is attempted after yet another rewind (in the German studio recording this rewind is mistakenly played twice).

This time the Woman brings the gun to her own head. The Conductor tries to stop the suicide, crying out “Just some bimbo”, but the action is repeated over and over like a broken record:

By the way, “Just some bimbo from the ballet” was the best I could come up with translating the far more piquantly silly “Nur eine Hupfdohle aus dem Ballet” from the original German. Hupfdohle is earthy slang for dancer, historically referring to a dancehall performer, not a ballet dancer. Hupf, not really a proper German word by itself, appears to be a bastardization of hüpf(en), (to) jump (yet google translate suggests it may also mean “whoop”, which would also be fitting for a dancehall); and Dohle is German for jackdaw, a small black bird that is able to move about and contort its body with greater agility than its black bird cousins like crows.

But even if one doesn’t know the word roots, just the sound “Hupfdohle” is so wonderfully vivid and demeaning and comical. With “bimbo from the ballet” I hoped alliteration would add some of that piquancy to the sexist slur.

Jackdaw

In the next section the Woman tries to imagine life if she had run off with the Conductor. She sees it as a lovers’ leap into the abyss. And the longing, “die Sehnsucht”, persists…

The baroque theme of their rehearsals is now played by the piano as an overtly romantic accompaniment. Somewhere between Rachmaninoff and Richard Clayderman, depending on how generous you are feeling…

XIV

German Language Studio Recording

English Language Live Concert Recording

The Conductor is screwing another woman.

CONDUCTOR
Yes, yes, now I’m coming…Now!

1. ANGEL
Now, now, evermore now, now, now, evermore now Now, now, evermore now, now, now, evermore now Now, now, evermore now, now, now, evermore now

The Woman enters the space, warming up her voice.

She slaps him.

WOMAN
Ah, ah, ah, ah, aaaargh! (she sees the Conductor) Ah…

CONDUCTOR
Just some bimbo from the ballet. Forgive me.

WOMAN
Ah…Bella, Bella, Bellissima

1. ANGEL
You can make another choice

The “film” is wound back. All return to “places”. The Conductor is screwing another woman.

CONDUCTOR
Yes, yes, now I’m coming…Now!

1. ANGEL
Now, now, evermore now, now, now, evermore now Now, now, evermore now, now, now, evermore now

Ah, ah, ah, ah, aaaargh!

1. Angel gives her gun.

Oh ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho-

CONDUCTOR
Just some bimbo from the ballet. Forgive me.

WOMAN
Bella! Bella! Bellissima ha ha –

she lets the gun drop

Ah- ah- ah Bang! (she shoots him nevertheless)

The “film” is wound back. All return to “places”. Conductor screws around again.

CONDUCTOR
Yes, yes, now I’m coming…Now!

1. ANGEL
Now, now, evermore now, now, now, evermore now

WOMAN
Ah, ah, ah, ah, aaaargh!

She holds the gun to her head.

The following is like a record that keeps skipping, both in sound and action:

WOMAN Ah-

CONDUCTOR Just some bimbo-

WOMAN Ah-

CONDUCTOR Just some bimbo-

WOMAN Ah-

CONDUCTOR Just some bimbo-

WOMAN Ah-

CONDUCTOR Just some bimbo-

WOMAN Ah-

CONDUCTOR Just some bimbo-

The Woman laughs. She throws away the gun.

WOMAN
Dead. Like a doornail.
Death is the best thing that ever happened to me.

Ah-

XV

German Language Studio Recording

English Language Live Concert Recording

1. ANGEL
A game…either way you have no chance, so take it.

WOMAN
My life? (laughs)

A film remembering me
Faded memories playing for me

As in a foggy dream
The dream of a desire
That is not fulfilled

CONDUCTOR
We could try to love each other…

WOMAN
To leap into loving

Without nets below us

We’ll fall through emptiness

Holding tight to each other

Unending togetherness

And unremitting loneliness

For there is the longing that never leaves me

For there is the longing that never leaves me

For there is the longing

The longing for what I don’t know